Posts

Showing posts from October, 2017

Your Actual Resume

You can lose yourself in the job search. After the umpteeth delicately-tweaked cover letter, painstakingly curated resume and well-written introductory email, you begin to feel like you're faking it.

So I created the resume for who I actually am. Here we go:

SELECTED EXPERIENCE
MahEars, Philadelphia, PA Music Curator and Sonic Aesthetician1989 - Present Develop classic rock, sixties girl groups and sundry genres into bizarre yet pleasing playlists Retain a disturbing amount of recording trivia and factoids gained from late-night Wikipedia rabbit trails Alienate coworkers and friends with anachronistic song lyric quotes Disturb fellow commuters on the Schuylkill Expressway with morning drive-dancing
MahBrain, Philadelphia, PA Smartass in Residence1986 -  Present Create charmingly/alarmingly specific to-do lists and goals Actively collect strange facts to develop obscure jokes and stories Despises the patriarchy, injustice, inefficiency and ferrets Chief aficionado of tasty food and random Phil…