How To Annoy Via Email

Myriad keystrokes have been devoted to email etiquette, but in last few weeks I've found annoying emails reaching a critical mass in my inbox. If you're job-searching and are guilty of these grievances, you might want to rethink your employment strategy.

Infractions that make me want to chew glass:

  • Reconfirming appointments multiple times even though you use Gmail and can see the entire conversation. Google calendar. Use it.
  • Extremely long signature lines with favorite quotes, apologies for clumsy iPhone usage, or "funny" job titles.
  • Color fonts, weird fonts, overused bold, italic or the cardinal sin, ALL CAPS THAT SCREAM I WANT MY PRUNE JUICE NOW, WHIPPERSNAPPER. I usually just hit delete rather than read. Smoke signals would be more effective communication.
  • Forwards of any sort. If you sent me an email about our meeting, don't send me a follow up on how Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton use the blood of unicorns to condition their hair.
  • Waxing philosophical when I just sent a simple question necessitating a simple reply. If your email isn't kierkegard&maimonideslovechild@kant.com, just answer the freaking question.


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