Surfing (F)un-employment

Myriad keystrokes have been devoted to email etiquette, but in last few weeks I've found annoying emails reaching a critical mass in my inbox. If you're job-searching and are guilty of these grievances, you might want to rethink your employment strategy. Infractions that make me want to chew glass: Reconfirming appointments multiple times even though you use Gmail and can see the entire conversation. Google calendar. Use it. Extremely long signature lines with favorite quotes, apologies for clumsy iPhone usage, or "funny" job titles. Color fonts , weird fonts , overused bold , italic or the cardinal sin, ALL CAPS THAT SCREAM I WANT MY PRUNE JUICE NOW, WHIPPERSNAPPER. I usually just hit delete rather than read. Smoke signals would be more effective communication. Forwards of any sort. If you sent me an email about our meeting, don't send me a follow up on how Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton use the blood of unicorns to condition their hair. Waxing philo...

One of the challenges of job searching is becoming frustrated and exhausted. The idea of a conventional vacation seems out of reach because of lack of funds, necessity for being on hand for calls and interviews, and the odd twinge of workaholic guilt. Loose thy chains, people! I'm a fan of Chris Guillebeau , author of "The Art of Non-Conformity." Beside his trenchant commentary on living one's life without needing to submit to the normal 9-5 grind, I've enjoyed his section on t ravel hacking . Back to loosing thy chains. You can take a vacation for very little money. Sometimes you need a break from your circumstances and job hunting. Here are some ideas to get you on your way to feeling refreshed: 1. Become a tourist in your own town. Some museums offer free days - take advantage of these! 2. I love  Airbnb . I recently went on a week's vacation and stayed in a nice apartment for about $18 a night. It was cheaper and much more comfortable than a host...

I recently sent my resume to a friend for his review. It's fascinating to see different folks' criticism of form and content, but I wasn't prepared for his evaluation. "It's only one page?!" he squawked. "You can let it run to two pages?!" I squeaked back. I was stunned. I've read a lot of resume-writing articles and books, but I was still stuck in the one-page-or-bust mindset. Fortunately, my friend blew apart my mediocre resume. Miracle of miracles -- I suddenly had room to explain my biggest accomplishments. There's a lot of advice about what works and what doesn't for resumes and cover letters, but I've learned to keep it simple. Show your strengths. If you're passionate about the projects you've worked on, it will show on your resume and others can catch the vision. Most of all, I've learned about the power of human relationships. Not simply playing the job hunting equivalent of LinkedIn Professional Pokemon (...

The parallels have been noted many times, but job hunting really is like dating. You're all giddy and hopeful, and maybe if you're talented enough (or have friends), you get a call. You set a date. You stress out over your outfit and debate whether a Spanish soccer jersey ( Casiiiiiiillas !) could be considered appropriate. The day arrives. Conversation flows and you discuss vision, dreams, ideas. Everything's sparkly and magical and the receptionist smiles beatifically as you exit. Elated, you begin planning your new life. Once you've ridden that delightful puffy cloud, reality dumps you into a steaming pile of silence. Trying not to look too desperate, you send a kind, handwritten thank you note. Nothing. The Easter Island statues talk more than your company-to-be. You spend weeks going over everything you said, searching for the source of some unnamed offense and driving your friends crazy with your self-psychoanalysis. Screw that.  Though no amount...

My valiant effort to read and review "Guerrilla Marketing for Job Hunters 2.0" conked out somewhere around the third chapter. It's a jam-packed read, and thus a bit overwhelming. This certainly isn't a pat-on-the-head, you're-doing-the-best-you-can book. I'm (gasp) taking notes. So reading the book is taking quite a bit longer than I expected. It probably also wasn't wise to try to tandem read "For Whom The Bell Tolls." Stay tuned for the final review.

Awesome woman surfer; photo from here .  It's your fifth day on the couch, cuddled up with your laptop. You're trying to sell yourself without sounding cheap, which is difficult considering it's 3:30 p.m. and you're still in your penguin pajamas. The momentary glee from browsing travel sites is dampened by the realization that you're spending your vacation fund on your student loans (oh, the agony!). Those wretched AES people may be surfing the Banzai Pipeline, but you're stuck surfing job sites. What to do? Beside attempting to rig a contest so your nemesis wins a lifetime supply of Marmite , you can catch up on reading. Off to Amazon with ye! Against my better judgment, I binge-bought job-searching books to see if they'd really help me land that glittering, light-from-heaven, angels-singing job. I intend to report back my findings to see if they smooth out job surfing, or just plain wipeout. Here are the victims: What Color is Your Parachute? 2011...