Surfing (F)un-employment

In 2009, I was laid off (quite suddenly) from a job I hated. I decided from then on I didn't want to take a job unless I liked what I was doing or I liked my coworkers. These two criteria were put on hold when I decided I wanted to take a job so I didn't have to live in a cardboard box under I-95. I'm happy to say that I'm no longer in danger of that. Plus I have regained the two criteria in my job search. I accepted a job on Tuesday as a marketing and communications specialist for a manufacturing startup. I don't have too many details at this point, but it's definitely going to be weird to transition from writing tons of cover letters and resumes to writing public relations materials full time. I smell an adventure. In the meantime, I still owe you a review of What Color Is Your Parachute 2011 and Knock 'Em Dead Cover Letters . Pinkie promise.

In the late summer of 2008, I returned to the United States from Spain (at least we Americans don't have a 25 percent unemployment rate, eh?) and found the job market a vast wasteland. Like so many of my journalism brethren before me, I turned to retail. I worked at an independent pharmacy and gift shop until October 2009, when I was laid off. So I have little sympathy for Caitlin Kelly, author of Malled: My Unintentional Career in Retail . She takes a stab at exposing the plight of the proletariat, but Upton Sinclair she is not. For starters, her "career" in retail was two, then reduced to one day a week stints at The North Face in a New York suburb. When I read career, I think 40 hours a week. She complains about climbing like a monkey in the dark, dirty stock room, I raise her a stock room that occasionally flooded with raw sewage. It brought another perspective to the phrase "crappy job." I can, however, commiserate with her chapter on customers from hell,...

I attended my first career fair today. I'm not normally claustrophobic, but the sheer amount of people, schmooze and desperation in the air was enough for me to make the event a search-and-employ mission. I scouted out a few companies, pitched myself, handed them my resume and walked out. I needed a latte. Next time I'm developing an all-out battle strategy, which brings me to my next funemployment item. GUERRILLA MARKETING FOR JOB HUNTERS 3.0 IS OUT! It's like finally getting an iPhone 3 when the 4 came out. But lest you be dismayed, here's the highlight reel for the rest of 2.0. It's still chock-full of fantastic tactics. Parts two through four of Guerrilla Marketing detail what you should overhaul in your job-hunting arsenal. If you have a non-specific resume that doesn't state keywords from the job you're applying for, you'll be eliminated from the resume stack. Your resume and cover letter are your sales pitch. Write them as such, (but truthful...

"You're in a market that is searching for the purple squirrel candidate, which is hard, but I believe you're someone's purple squirrel." A wonderful friend said this in the midst of a frenzied Google Chat discussion (she has three kids -- that's more than a full-time job).  I love it. Mostly because most days, I feel like a purple squirrel. I have enough work experience to make me dangerous, but not enough in any one place to look proficient in my field. A little funky, but mostly just weird. But I've learned so much. Speaking of learning, I'm in the last week of my internship. I'm finishing up news releases, trying to  get last-minute coverage for my client and preparing to pass the baton to the next intern. I've gotten a great taste of working in public relations and observing all the kinds of people involved. If I'm a purple squirrel, the internship's given me a bit of a Mohawk to make this rodent a little funkier.  The chairman ...

I know, I know, I promised to have the second part of Guerrilla Marketing for Job Hunters 2.0 reviewed by now. But I have a really fantastic excuse. I've been representing these people and these guys , and I've been swamped. I've found that crafting material to pitch to a reporter is much different than being a reporter. I even brought my AP Stylebook to work one day because I thought it'd make my desk more homey. I tried to get my boss to invest in a crackly, ancient police scanner to complete the ambiance, but no dice. Don't fret: the next part of the Guerrilla Marketing review shall be completed soon. Another teaser: I'm also working on the first draft for my SEPTA narrative. Just in time for all the fare changes ! But unlike SEPTA, I'll actually deliver on my promises before the decade is out.

If Guerrilla Marketing for Job Hunters 2.0 wants you to practice stealthy cover letter maneuvers and ninja-like resume writing, I'd rather wear a pith helmet, ready to exclaim "Crikey" like a certain Australian naturalist when first observing a dream job -- then go after it. I'm calling it my plot, prepare, pick strategy. I didn't dress up like David Livingstone , but I did use safari-like tactics when I targeted my internship. First, I researched prospective companies in my area that fit my interests and career path. I followed them on Twitter. I read their blogs. I've created Google news alerts for them so I can track their industry activity. In short, I've stalked them like a cheetah stalks an unsuspecting antelope on the Serengeti , except I'm a lot nicer and less likely to feed on your carcass. So how did I finally net my internship? The company tweeted about a summer internship opportunity. I mentioned the tweet in my cover letter, didn...

Here's a great profile from the ranks of the unemployed. I find it fascinating that the video was posted in 2006, before the worst of the U.S. economic crisis. But the real question is, did this guy trade in his AT-AT Walker under the Cash for Clunkers program?