Surfing (F)un-employment

I have a confession to make. Although I identify myself as a writer, I HATE cover letters. Reading them, writing them -- doesn't matter. There's too much of a tightrope walk between bragging about your accomplishments (eloquently!) and trying not to seem too desperate as you plead your case for job competency. Some people agree with me. Nevertheless, it doesn't seem as if the cover letter plus resume culture will completely fade. Unfortunately, I don't have a surefire way to construct a cover letter to guarantee it'll get read by recruiters. Some like a story. Some prefer a terse, businesslike recounting of your most interesting accomplishments. Others - who knows. I haven't cracked it yet. I recently thumbed through Knock 'em Dead Cover Letters for the umpteenth time. I'll be honest. The book itself is boring, the examples providing inspiration on the level of an eighth grade remedial English class. If you're not a writer, it could provide some...

I recently sent my resume to a friend for his review. It's fascinating to see different folks' criticism of form and content, but I wasn't prepared for his evaluation. "It's only one page?!" he squawked. "You can let it run to two pages?!" I squeaked back. I was stunned. I've read a lot of resume-writing articles and books, but I was still stuck in the one-page-or-bust mindset. Fortunately, my friend blew apart my mediocre resume. Miracle of miracles -- I suddenly had room to explain my biggest accomplishments. There's a lot of advice about what works and what doesn't for resumes and cover letters, but I've learned to keep it simple. Show your strengths. If you're passionate about the projects you've worked on, it will show on your resume and others can catch the vision. Most of all, I've learned about the power of human relationships. Not simply playing the job hunting equivalent of LinkedIn Professional Pokemon (...

The parallels have been noted many times, but job hunting really is like dating. You're all giddy and hopeful, and maybe if you're talented enough (or have friends), you get a call. You set a date. You stress out over your outfit and debate whether a Spanish soccer jersey ( Casiiiiiiillas !) could be considered appropriate. The day arrives. Conversation flows and you discuss vision, dreams, ideas. Everything's sparkly and magical and the receptionist smiles beatifically as you exit. Elated, you begin planning your new life. Once you've ridden that delightful puffy cloud, reality dumps you into a steaming pile of silence. Trying not to look too desperate, you send a kind, handwritten thank you note. Nothing. The Easter Island statues talk more than your company-to-be. You spend weeks going over everything you said, searching for the source of some unnamed offense and driving your friends crazy with your self-psychoanalysis. Screw that.  Though no amount...

Friends sometimes ask me what should be put in a cover letter. I've read some cover letter books (boring!), and looked at tons of online examples. Maybe it's the journalist in me, but I always read the ones that tell a story. Don't tell me that you're a great _______, demonstrate that you're a great _____. I loathe the cover letter-speak we use: multi-faceted, creative, utilize, ideal candidate...the list goes on. Gag. I'm a literary ninja. What are you?

I wish I could say that's the sound my computer made when it decided to die. It's been on life support since June. I work for mad scientists whose combined brain power could turn my lowly Toshiba into a space station (or at least a toaster), but there simply isn't time. I'll try to return soon, kiddos.

In 2009, I was laid off (quite suddenly) from a job I hated. I decided from then on I didn't want to take a job unless I liked what I was doing or I liked my coworkers. These two criteria were put on hold when I decided I wanted to take a job so I didn't have to live in a cardboard box under I-95. I'm happy to say that I'm no longer in danger of that. Plus I have regained the two criteria in my job search. I accepted a job on Tuesday as a marketing and communications specialist for a manufacturing startup. I don't have too many details at this point, but it's definitely going to be weird to transition from writing tons of cover letters and resumes to writing public relations materials full time. I smell an adventure. In the meantime, I still owe you a review of What Color Is Your Parachute 2011 and Knock 'Em Dead Cover Letters . Pinkie promise.

In the late summer of 2008, I returned to the United States from Spain (at least we Americans don't have a 25 percent unemployment rate, eh?) and found the job market a vast wasteland. Like so many of my journalism brethren before me, I turned to retail. I worked at an independent pharmacy and gift shop until October 2009, when I was laid off. So I have little sympathy for Caitlin Kelly, author of Malled: My Unintentional Career in Retail . She takes a stab at exposing the plight of the proletariat, but Upton Sinclair she is not. For starters, her "career" in retail was two, then reduced to one day a week stints at The North Face in a New York suburb. When I read career, I think 40 hours a week. She complains about climbing like a monkey in the dark, dirty stock room, I raise her a stock room that occasionally flooded with raw sewage. It brought another perspective to the phrase "crappy job." I can, however, commiserate with her chapter on customers from hell,...